COLORADO SPRINGS, CO -- Hair Consultant candidate Chris Morton began campaigning this weekend with a public statement arguing that he has the purest and overall best motive for helping Steve "ColoradoGuy" Garufi grow his hair as long as possible.

The 33-year-old Bible study leader, who voted for Ralph Nader in 2000, used populist themes to make his case.

He wrote:

"The other two candidates (Laloo and Phil) are clearly just shills for the big corporations, seeking to take advantage of Steve's hair for the selling of more hair care properties. Further, I know have it on good information (from the World Weekly News) that one of the candidates desires to use Steve's hair as a Weapon of Mass Distraction (see photo of Alethea pulling Steve's hair as proof). I stand for the little guy - the people who just want to see Steve's hair be luxurious, long, and fun. I have no interest in making money off of Steve's hair, or to use his hair for my own personal gain. Stop the insanity - Vote Morton"

Chris and his wife are adamantly boycotting Walmart for what they described as "unfair business practices", and Chris seems to be using his Hair Consultant candidacy to bring out critical Nader-type social issues to the ColoradoGuy community.

Chris highly recommends reading Fast Food Nation by Eric Schlosser: "I haven't been to a fast food place since I read that book." said Chris.

The Christian theologian, who describes himself as "rather egalitarian" and stresses social justice themes in his Thursday night Bible studies, is hoping to attract voters who support Ralph Nader's core issues, but do not want to "waste their vote" in the November presidential election this year.

"This way, people can Vote Nader by voting for me and making their point without giving the election to the Republicans again." reasoned Chris, with a cigar in his mouth.

Holding his baby daughter in his hands, he also said, "Someday I hope my daughter will have beautiful long hair just like Steve's."