MANITOU SPRINGS, CO -- Hair Consultant candidate Phil McWilliams is pissed ... and rightfully so!

While smoking a cigarette in front of Spice of Life Cafe in Manitou Springs, Phil was greatly offended when he learned that his chief opponent (Laura "Laloo" Johnson) called him a "total loser" and spread rumors that he supported liberal John Kerry.

"I'm tired of this woman talking smack about me. She says I'm a loser? Well, I say she's a liar, because if she knew me, she'd know that I don't like John Kerry. I think Bush has done a good job." said Phil.

Speaking directly to Steve "ColoradoGuy" Garufi, the straight-talking 23-year-old said, "This woman (Laloo) is probably a drama queen just like all the others that you've put up with. You haven't even met her. How do you know she won't be a problem for you?" questioned Phil, who recently heard the Internet personality vent about recent problems he's had with women he met on the Internet.

Boki Evans (adjacent photo) of Manitou Springs, Colorado agreed with Phil. "Oh I could easily see her being a drama queen. If she's willing to go to so low as to smear Phil with name-calling, how will she treat Steve? (Steve) doesn't need that."

Steve denied that Laloo acts like a drama queen, but nevertheless admitted that the "drama queen issue" could be a major factor among voters in determining the winner in the mid-April election.

"I went through so much crap this winter on the forums. It was like one (woman) after another ... just blowing up on me and acting wacko and getting petty with each other. It was awful." recalled Steve.

"So if you're fed up with all this shit, you're going to vote for me, right?" retorted Phil, with his cigarette hanging out of his mouth. (Steve, in compliance with his position of neutrality during the Hair Consultant campaign, did not respond.)

Laloo was not available for comment. On prior occasions, the 41-year-old Financial Analyst in California has denied being a "drama queen" and insists that she has a long history of being emotionally stable and a mature friend to others.

Actual voting takes place from April 15-18. Visit HairConsultant Dot Org for more information.