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The Hair Consultant History of ColoradoGuy!
(Brief biographies with photos and times of service)
- Heather, October-November 1998, Fired
- Jenny, November 1998, Fired
- Barb, January 1999, Fired
- Heather, January-April 1999, Fired
- Donna, April-August 1999, Term Ended (Steve cut his hair short)
- Rain, January 2000-February 2001 Fired
- Dawnn, February 2001-November 2001 Fired
- Sheila, November 2001-April 2002 Term Ended (Left office gracefully)
- Donna, April 2002-November 2002 Fired
- Rain, November 2002-December 2002 Fired
- "John Boy", December 2002-January 2003 Resigned
- Alissa, April 2003-September 2003 Fired
- Martha, September 2003-January 2004 Fired
- Phil, April 2004-October 2004 Fired
- Ben, April 2005-April 2006 Left office gracefully
- Sarah, April 2006-April 2007 Left office gracefully
- Pete, April 2007-December 2007 Fired
- Josh, December 2007 Fired
- Lisa, January 2008 - present
Heather October-November 1998, Fired
Because she was the very first, Heather is considered the "George Washington of Hair Consultants." A hairdresser and friend in Colorado Springs who worked as a hairdresser, Heather initially encouraged Steve as he began to grow his hair long. However, after just a few weeks she was rarely available for him and did nothing to help Steve, which led to her firing after one month.
Jenny November 1998, Fired
Jenny, an 18-year-old senior in high school in Colorado Springs,
quickly became the next Hair Consultant. Having been friends
in Manitou Springs, once Jenny became Hair Consultant
she became practically nonexistent and allowed her ridiculous "busyaholic" lifestyle
interfere with her term of service. Jenny did absolutely nothing for Steve's hair and
since her firing (within the same month of her hiring, November 1998),
Steve has had little to no communication with her. He does not even have a picture of her.
Barb January 1999, Fired
Barb was Steve's landlord in 1998 and 1999, and she became the third
Hair Consultant when she showed interest in Steve growing his hair long. Steve fondly
remembers one incident when Barb undid a nasty-looking clump of hair by
his forehead; Barb also taught Steve how to ski at Ski Cooper near Leadville.
Despite doing some good work, Barb was fired immediately when she
"stabbed Steve in the back" and told all his friends that she wished Steve
would cut his hair.
Heather January-April 1999, Fired
Promising to do a better job, Heather was again hired as Steve's Hair Consultant
in January 1999. However, Heather's empty words were seen for just that when again
she "disappeared" from Steve's social life and was virtually unavailable for
Steve nearly all the time. Heather was again fired under disgraceful circumstances.
Donna April-August 1999, Laid Off (Steve cut his hair short)
After yet another firing of a Hair Consultant, Steve's
Manitou Springs friend Donna
agreed to serve as chief encourager and advice giver for Steve
to grow his hair as long as possible. Donna was certainly around for Steve, but sadly,
Steve stupidly cut his hair
(which was almost shoulder length) in August 1999. Donna has the embarrassing and unsettling distinction
of being the only Hair Consultant who presided during an event of Steve cutting his hair.
Rain January 2000-February 2001 Fired
Soon after cutting his hair, Steve began growing his hair long and hired
his dear friend Rain as Hair Consultant in January 2000.
Because Steve's hair was so short during her term, Steve did not need much
practical help from Rain. This was a good arrangement because
Rain was hardly ever around for Steve during her thirteen months
of service (the longest ever in HC history).
In February 2001, Rain's apathy and slowness to return phone calls
led to her firing and with this web site being relatively new,
her firing was the first Hair Consultant event made public.
Dawnn February 2001-November 2001 Fired
Dawnn, the seventh Hair Consultant in history, served as a bridge between anonymous,
little-known Hair Consultants of the past and publically scrutinized and admired leaders
of modern times. With the ColoradoGuy press covering her actions , web site viewers observed
her swearing-in ceremony, approval ratings and her kissing Steve's hair. Dawnn did some helpful
things for Steve's hair, but after six months of service Steve heard less
and less from her. In the fall, with her inaction being publicized
(e.g. the "Dred Lock Incident")
calling for her firing, Dawnn was fired in November 2001.
Dawnn was quite disgusted with Steve over being fired, but she eventually forgave him. Poor Dawnn! :(
Sheila November 2001-April 2002 Term Ended (Left office gracefully)
Steve met Sheila on the LongHairLovers.com Internet
community. As Hair Consultant, Missy did a good job in
staying in touch with the ColoradoGuy community and offering practical help for Steve
with his long hair. They briefly entertained romance but agreed
in would be better to be friends in the long-term. Surprisingly, Sheila was the
first Hair Consultant ever to leave office somewhat gracefully (Sheila definitely had some "DQ moments" on the forums, however),
when she chose not to run for re-election in the 2002 election. Residing in Oregon,
Sheila was also the first to serve while living outside Colorado.
Donna April 2002-November 2002 Fired
Donna became the ninth Hair Consultant after being elected in the first nationally
recognized Hair Consultant election in April 2002. Initially, Donna
served well as a public figure but never helped
Steve in the necessary ways to help his hair (long, but mired in split-end damage)
grow longer. Critics were so disappointed in her leadership that many in the
ColoradoGuy community labeled her with the unflattering title of the
"Do-Nothing Hair Consultant." With her
approval rating down to just 41 percent, Donna was fired in November 2002.
Rain November 2002-December 2002 Fired
Rain took over as Steve's tenth Hair Consultant and nothing really changed.
Rain still showed a great deal of apathy and admitted she has never been really
good with returning phone calls.
Also, Rain still did not even have Internet access and was unable to communicate
with visitors on the Friendship Board.
Just before Christmas 2002, Steve fired Rain as
Hair Consultant. Looking back, Steve believes Rain only took the job because of
their friendship (including being in his Top Ten List) and regrets that she was fired twice in history.
"JohnBoy" December 2002-January 2003 Resigned
"John Boy" is a freaky local Manitou Springs resident
who upon learning that the position of Hair Consultant was vacant,
agreed to be Steve's next Hair Consultant. He is the first
male to ever serve in the position. In his few weeks as Hair Consultant,
John Boy did absolutely nothing for Steve's hair
and embarrassed the ColoradoGuy community with his "uncontrolled arguing"
on the Politics
and Religion forums.
John resigned within weeks, and they are good friends today.
Alissa April 2003-September 2003 Fired
An attractive and popular college student who frequently talked
on the forums, Alissa became Hair Consultant
after beating two other candidates in the
Soon after becoming Hair Consultant, Alissa practically disappeared,
significantly lost touch with the ColoradoGuy community and did very little as leader
of Steve's hair. In fact, critics mocked her as the "Dead Beat Hair Consultant"
after she shunned those who wanted to meet her at a web site function. Steve fired her in September 2003.
Martha September 2003 to January 2004 Fired
Martha initially did a decent job and was the source of a lot of fun on this web site.
However, things went sour during the "Poopy Era" of January 2004
and uh, circumstances eventually got pretty ugly. At the very end, Steve considered placing
a restraining order on Martha and removed all photos of her from this web site. Enough said! Let's move on!
Phil April 2004 to October 2004 Fired
was elected Hair Consultant by a landslide victory in the 2004 election when voters gravitated towards
his tough, no-nonsense approach towards Steve and
his hair. However, over the summer, Phil was not around much for Steve and stopped showing
his face in downtown Manitou Springs. With Steve having absolutely no way of contacting Phil,
the ColoradoGuy community labeled him as the "Absentee Politician" and gave him just a 35% approval rating.
When Phil failed to attend the ColoradoGuy Festival Barbeque, it was only a matter of weeks before Steve resoundingly fired him.
Ben April 2005 to April 2006
Ben defeated four candidates in the April 2005 election in arguably the dirtiest and most contentious election in Hair Consultant history.
(Ben also gained the embarrassing distinction of winning the electoral college vote, but
losing the popular vote to another candidate.)
Ben's policy for my hair was always straightfoward:
He did nothing whatsoever (like many past HC's),
but at least he's was being honest about it. Ben stayed within the guidelines of not getting
fired (like staying in touch with me), and if I have any hair-related issues,
to consult my hairdresser. Ben insisted that Steve must learn to take better care of
his hair on his own, and
flourished at its longest length. Ben served an entire one-year term and left gracefully when Sarah, the winner of the 2006 election, was voted in.
Sarah April 2006 to 2007
Sarah served a full
year as Hair Consultant and at the beginning of her term of service (Summer 2006),
she did a great job keeping in touch. The most pressing memory I have is Sarah's insistence (with quite
a bitchy flair!) that I wear his hair down during the entire 2006 Colorado Guy Festival.
Sarah barfing at the annual gathering is also something I will never forget.
By late 2006, however, Sarah's communication dropped off significantly
after meeting her fiance and becoming swarmed in her wedding plans. It was a disappointing way that she ended her term.
Pete April 2007 to December 2007
Pete was elected with the largest vote margin in history in the
April 2007 election. However, his performance as Hair Consultant was dismal. He did absolutely nothing for Steve's long hair care
strategies and never even called Steve throughout his tenure. A scathing article about his
39% approval rating didn't help motivate him either.
In the fall, Pete continued to have his jackass positings
on the Politics Forum deleted (despite warnings)
and his fantasy football team was locked due to his attempts to sabotage his team's starting line-up.
There have been some really bad Hair Consultants in the history of my hair, but Pete was
arguably the biggest waste of time and space among them all. He was fired in December 2007 and has
visited the discussion forums minimally since then.
His one credit to him is he has a page on this
web site dedicated to his celebrity status: Florida Pete.
Josh December 2007
Josh, a real-life friend who grew up in Buena Vista, was appointed as the 18th Hair Consultant
in history in early December. The open vacancy and Josh's insistence that he wanted to serve
in the position was enough to pursuade Steve to appoint him during a meeting at a local cafe.
Sadly, Josh did nothing to help Steve's long hair growth plans in practical terms, and he was
fired two days before Christmas in 2007. Josh was not too upset about being fired and is
living and working long-term in New Zealand now. His most noteworthy accomplishment
was appearing in a snow pictorial: Colorado Snow Pictures.
Lisa January 2008 - present
Lisa, touted as an emotionally stable, non-bickering,
non-busybody and loyal friend by Steve, was recently appointed Hair Consultant. You can read more about the announcement
including a great photo of her skiing in Telluride here: HC Lisa.
Please share any of your thoughts about the office of Hair Consultant on my:
Hair Consultant FAQ Section
What is a Hair Consultant?
A Hair Consultant (for Steve) is the one person who helps Steve
in whatever way possible to grow his naturally curly hair as long as possible.
Sometimes that would mean encouraging Steve when he's frustrated with how
slow it's growing. Sometimes that means giving advice about a hair-related
matter as they come up. Sometimes that means being a public figure who
communicates with the ColoradoGuy community.
Why does Steve need a Hair Consultant?
Steve can be fairly undisciplined at times and desires to have
one "go-to person" at all times. His hair is very high maintenance
and he typically needs some type of encouragement. At the very least,
he enjoys talking about his hair from time to time and a Hair Consultant
can help with that! ;)
Steve seems obsessed with his hair. Why is that?
Steve really isn't obsessed with his hair, but it appears that way
because of the structure of this web site.
He does his best to publicize most areas of his life on here, and he
does enjoy his long hair as a hobby, so to speak.
How can *I* become Steve's Hair Consultant?
Every April, there is a "Hair Consultant election" which you
can participate in as a candidate. Candidates must publicly acknowledge
that they are "sold out" in encouraging Steve with growing his hair long. Directions on how to
become a candidate are announced in February on the Friendship Board, two months before the election happens in mid-April.
Occasionally, if a Hair Consultant is fired or resigns during the year,
Steve will appoint a new Hair Consultant on his own.
How do I vote for Hair Consultant during this annual election?
Directions on how to vote are given in many promiment areas on this web site during the 4-day voting period in mid-April.
How can I obtain advice about an issue with my hair?
Check out the Hair Forum which
has been a good place for discussion of most hair care concerns.
How can I contact Steve's current Hair Consultant?
Generally speaking, posting a message on the Friendship Board is the best way to communicate with Steve's Hair Consultant. While most of Steve's Hair Consultants know by now how imperative it is to keep in touch with the ColoradoGuy community, there may be other ways to contact him or her based on the particular person.