Dead Beat Hair Consultant Fired in Disgrace!
("AlamosaGirl" will be remembered as one of the "WORST EVER" - Sept. 3, 2003)
MANITOU SPRINGS, CO -- Hair Consultant Alissa "Alamosa Girl" Rusk
was fired today and was formally relieved of her duties as leader, encourager
and chief advice giver for Steve "ColoradoGuy" Garufi in growing his hair long.
Her poor leadership,
lack of communication with Steve and the ColoradoGuy community, and her overall
"phony politician" image were cited as reasons for her firing. She was removed from office
in disgrace and will be considered one of the "worst ever" in
Hair Consultant history.
"It became clear by late summer that Alissa apparently didn't give a rip
about my hair or the people of this web site. I am sorry to let her go." Steve read
from a press statement outside his Manitou Springs home.
"She's always welcome back to join us on the Friendship Board, but as for the
history books, she will always be remembered as the Dead Beat Hair Consultant."
Steve concluded in his statement, successfully holding back his tears.
While being a public figure on this web site goes with the responsibility
of Hair Consultant, Alissa did virtually nothing for Steve's hair since being
elected to the position in April 2003,
when she defeated two other candidates.
According to sources, it is believed that Alissa foolishly
became consumed in her relationship with her boyfriend and "blew off" many
in her life. "I saw her and her boyfriend once
(in Manitou)," stated Rich (known as Pony66), and "Oh well, uh, never mind..."
"You need to fire that girl. I know I didn't do the greatest job, but she
was the worst I've seen." stated Ex-Hair Consultant Donna Ward,
who ironically endorsed Alissa during the Spring 2003 campaign,
not realizing that she was not planning to follow through on her campaign pledges.
What appeared to be the final straw in Alissa's firing, was her blatant
no-show at the 2003 ColoradoGuy Lazy Hazy Barbeque,
where she shunned and insulted those who
wanted to meet her for the first time. "It's really disappointing that she's not here. Wouldn't she have wanted to have spent time with us?" stated Ben Paulson of Puyallup, Washington.
In the past twelve months, three others have served unsuccessfully as Hair
Consultant with all of them leaving office as failures. Donna Ward was fired
in late September for being a "Do Nothing" Hair Consultant, Rain Thrower was
fired in December for "not doing much" for Steve's hair, and "JohnBoy" Fields (see adjacent picture) resigned in February because of emotional problems.
A new Hair Consultant is expected to be sworn-in near the beginning of October.