BEIJING, CHINA -- Zero. Zilch. None. Nil. A goose egg!

To the dismay of many, not one Chinese citizen cast a ballot in deciding who would be leader, coach and public advocate of Steve "ColoradoGuy" Garufi's hair in the Hair Consultant election last week.

While most expected turnout overseas to be low, no one anticipated such a flagrant refusal from the Chinese in participating in democracy.

Hence, in a written press release, Steve "ColoradoGuy" Garufi publicly blasted the 1.4 billion Chinese people who refused to exercise their right to vote in the election.

"I can't believe it ... not one vote from China! (The Chinese) can't vote in their own country, and I give them a chance to vote and they don't. That says a lot right there!" said Steve.

According to Steve, all residents in China were registered and welcome to vote in the Internationals district, which contained eight electoral votes. Sadly, nobody voted in the entire district, which resulted in the district being colored gray in the electoral college map.

Hair Consultant Phil (the decisive winner of last week's election), questioned the resolve of the Chinese people to implement democracy in their nation when based on results, they do not readily vote in other elections when granted the opportunity.

"I think (all 1.4 billion Chinese not voting is) really pathetic and hypocritical. It's not like they don't have computers in China." said Phil, as he smoked a cigarette in downtown Manitou Springs.

Others explained Chinese voter apathy by reasoning that they may have more important things to do..

"Perhaps hair elections seems a little trivial to all the bigger stuff going on in that country." said Carolyn Miller of Colorado Springs, alluding to the political and economic unrest in China.

"All I can say is, I thought I was being a really nice guy by extending this election to the Chinese people. I vividly remember Tienemen Square (in 1989) ... Oh well." explained Steve.