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All 1.4 Billion Chinese Discard Their Right to Vote
(Chinese Voter Apathy Runs Rampant During Hair Consultant Election)
April 22, 2004
BEIJING, CHINA -- Zero. Zilch. None. Nil. A goose egg!
To the dismay of many, not one Chinese citizen
cast a ballot in deciding who would be leader, coach and public
advocate of Steve "ColoradoGuy" Garufi's hair in the
Hair Consultant election last week.
While most expected turnout overseas to be low, no one anticipated
such a flagrant refusal from the Chinese in participating in democracy.
Hence, in a written press release, Steve "ColoradoGuy" Garufi publicly blasted the
1.4 billion Chinese people who refused to exercise their right to vote in the election.
"I can't believe it ... not one vote from China! (The Chinese) can't vote in their own
country, and I give them a chance to vote and
they don't. That says a lot right there!" said Steve.
According to Steve, all residents in China were registered
and welcome to vote in the Internationals district, which
contained eight electoral votes. Sadly, nobody voted in the entire district,
which resulted in the district being colored gray in the electoral college map.
Hair Consultant Phil (the decisive winner of last week's election),
questioned the resolve of the Chinese people to implement democracy
in their nation when based on results, they do not readily
vote in other elections when granted the opportunity.
"I think (all 1.4 billion Chinese not voting is) really pathetic and hypocritical. It's not like
they don't have computers in China."
said Phil, as he smoked a cigarette in
downtown Manitou Springs.
Others explained Chinese voter apathy by reasoning that they may have more important things to do..
elections seems a little trivial to all the bigger stuff going
on in that country." said Carolyn Miller of
Colorado Springs, alluding to the political and
economic unrest in China.
"All I can say is, I thought I was being a really nice
guy by extending this election to the Chinese people. I vividly
remember Tienemen Square (in 1989) ... Oh well." explained Steve.
Share your opinion about how or why the Chinese didn't vote in
last week's Hair consultant election on my: