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CPR Training Puts Steve On The Spot!

(Anxiety About Placing Mouth On "CPR Doll" Freaks Steve Out)

March 8, 2004

MANITOU SPRINGS, CO -- Steve "ColoradoGuy" Garufi admitted this afternoon that he has much anxiety about placing his mouth on a "CPR doll" at next week's CPR training at his workplace, where being certified in CPR is required for his new counseling job.

"I just freak out thinking about it! ... Why do I need to learn mouth to mouth CPR when I'm a therapist?!" exclaimed Steve, who has never learned CPR in his life.

The Internet personality's anxiety has become so great that others are becoming concerned about his display of emotionalism, and one close friend even called him a "drama queen." Steve's current behavior is similar to his problematic escapades in Summer 2002, when he was involved in a twisted passive agression battle with a local cafe worker.

"Will you quit your whinning? You're overreacting to all this. Just do what you gotta do and be done with it." said Barbara R., a close friend.

Paul Walters (see adjacent photo), a local Manitou Springs resident who sported a blue tie-die shirt, had more crushing remarks for Steve: "Dude, I think your problem is you can't get a girlfriend and you're, what's the psychological term ... you're projecting this on the CPR doll."

At this time, Steve is unsure about whether he will bring his digital camera to the CPR training class, because of his fear that he may "freak out" someone in the class.

So far, his new employer has no idea about the existence of this popular web site.



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