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Anxiety Over Washing New Walmart Sweater
(Steve Worries About "Screwing Up" Sweater In Wash!)
January 25, 2004
MANITOU SPRINGS, CO -- Steve "ColoradoGuy" Garufi admitted that
he has been struggling with anxiety for the past few days over the fear of "screwing up"
his brand new dark red sweater in its first wash.
The newly purchased "Walmart sweater" has been worn "a few times" according to Steve, and although it
is clear that it needs to be washed before being worn again, Steve
worries the article of clothing will somehow lose its nice fit upon being washed.
"Well why don't you just read the tag on the back and follow directions?" questioned a local friend.
Despite directions that clearly state: "Machine Wash Cold Seperately - Gentle Cycle -
Tumble Dry Low", Steve
still feels unnerved and insists that with his rotten bachelor
luck he'll "do something stupid" and mess up his new sweater. He even hinted that he
might lose his emotional equilibrium if anything bad should happen.
"I put up with a lot of crap and drama and erratic people on my forums,
but let me tell you, if I screw up this sweater, I'm going to be an emotional blob
for days on the Friendship Board."
contended Steve, who was wearing the same bright red fleece when
he gave an attractive Starbucks employee a ColoradoGuy business card.
Today, Steve kept his sweater out of his laundry
and chose to do nothing with it until further notice. The article of clothing now
lays on his "counseling love seat" in his bedroom.
"I'm hoping to get an epiphany until I figure out what to do." said Steve.
The Internet personality's clothing have come under close public scrutiny
in the past few years, including articles about
his old shoes (that had holes in them), a rip in his shorts, an oatmeal stain on his tie-dye shirt and a public criticizing of his general wardrobe.
Feel free to voice your thoughts and opinions about Steve's sweater dilemna on his: